Mother's Day Grief

Though this is not something I have experienced personally, I know many who have and are suffering today. My mother is still with me, and she is a great mother. But there are those for whom this day is difficult.

The most obvious are those who had a strong relationship with their mom, and she is no longer with them. This day dedicated to Moms may be especially hard for those for whom this is the first Mother's Day without their mom. I see you, Clarissa.

Who you may not think about is those who did not have a good relationship with their mom. Being a mom does not mean that you're destined to be the perfect mom or even an adequate mom. This is a hard job, and there are a multitude of reasons you may not have had a strong bond with your biological mother. Mother's Day often makes this group of people grieve for the relationship they don't/didn't have. This is exacerbated by the idyllic social media posts of the seemingly perfect mother/child relationships.

Then there are the women who longed to be a mom, but it never happened for them. This day can make them grieve the child they never had and that maternal desire unfulfilled. Again, seeing perfect photos of their friends with their adorable children gives them the sadness of feeling left out of this club that they thought they would be a part of one day.

There are moms who've lost a child. This day reminds them of the fact (not that it ever leaves them) that one of the flesh of their flesh is no longer here to hug them, send a card or have lunch with them. This loss, while always hard, may be bigger on a day where motherhood is celebrated.

I don't mean for this to be a Mother's Day downer, but I want those of you who don't feel like celebrating for these or other reasons to know that you are seen.

#surthrivalpodcast #surthrival #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #mothersdaylove